A Bygone Era
by Gene “Dickhead” Duncker
Dad, Mr. Bee and some men were at the Beehive Inn.
Their talk was quite mysterious.
Old Ephraim said he could take Dad in
because Bee was the Grand Gyascutis.
They all had Dad in stitches
and rolling on the floor.
Something about a Chinaman with riches
and a Chinawoman whore.
There was Bible talk about Adam and Eve
and smuggling from the Garden.
Maybe, with those secret signs,
God would grant them a pardon.
Ephraim told about a holy monk
who was quite concerned about sinnin’.
He bit off his tongue while chained to a bunk,
to save himself from some women!
Dad was treated different than the others;
Hide his eyes, dance and sing a song.
The redshirt guys were called Brothers.
But what they called Dad was just wrong.
The “Staff of Relief” was a stick that they had,
with contours Ephraim said were symbolic.
It supposedly gave some power to Dad
when anointed with something alcoholic.
Things will be different now on our farm,
I’m beginning to think.
Dad’s finances suffered quite a bit of harm,
having to buy all the Brothers a drink.
This E Clampus Vitus looks like lots of fun.
I want to join them at the Beehive.
Dad says I have to wait til I’m twenty-one.
Aw Shucks, I’m only five!